idk if it means anything, but im the same way. =/
i have the magical ability to be the most amazing and funny person around ANYONE.
except the people that i actually care about.
to the few people whose opinion of me actually matters, i cant be myself because i actually give a damn what they think.
you can be as random an funny around everyone else but them... and it sucks. =[ im sorry.
i could give you advice on here, or tell you in person, but ill tell you on here in case others have the same problem...
become friends with her friends - when she is in a group you can then approach without it being as awkward.
talk to her on AIM or Myspace or Facebook - Good One on One conversation without immediate responses needed; if your nervous you can take a few minutes to think about what to say
Be around your friends when around her - From personal experience, its easier to be yourself when your friends are near by, and then the girl can see how amazing you really are.
copper, i hope for both of us it works out.
Mephidos<3
I'm one of those kids who seems to have the problem of not being able to talk to the person I like (have a crush on). I can talk to almost every girl I come across and have no weird feelings. But when I turn to start a conversation with the girl I like, I shy away. The problem gets worse with the fact that she is a very shy person also. Awhile ago, she would say hi to me in the hall every other day at the end of the day, but that was it. Lately, she hasn't tried any of that. Am I doing this all wrong? Do I have to innitiate every conversation since I'm the guy (just like guys having to ask girls out?)? I just don't know what to do.
Today, I actually started a conversation with her, and it went on for 1 minute or so. We talked fairly fine once it started. I'm not sure if it was because there was hardly anybody around. As soon as we reached the group of classmates heading to the assembly at the stairs, our conversation stopped. I think talking to a girl (in general) that I have a crush on is easier when she's alone. The problem is, the girl that I presently like, is never alone, and always in a group.
- Copper ^-D
Happyness is a false hope.
Individuality is a lie.
the meaning of life is so simple.
and cosmically you dont matter.
Im tired of sounding like some emo dike. but the fact remains true.
ill go into my first point.
HAPPYNESS IS A FALSE HOPE.
people find bliss in everyday life. but the fact is, your only happy if your not looking for it.
those who are unhappy, who are depressed, who feel like something is missing.. [like myself], maybe we are just looking at life too closely?
i mean the more you look for happyness, the more you question what you have, and the more illusive it will be.. it only makes sense. have i ruined my own perception of reality by letting myself believe there is more to life?
The meaning of life [to me] is to do your best to be happy. to try and find love. to try and be the person youve dreamed of. or really, to hopelessly aspire to be that guy in your head whom is so perfect and outspoken that you dont even stand a chance.
those who look for happyness will never find it.. i mean everyone is lacking something.
a grandfather, a dead friend, lost hopes and dreams.. the happy ones are the ones that are able to get passed it..
and while thinking about all of this.. i came to some other conclusions.
INDIVIDUALITY IS A LIE.
there is no such thing as individuality. at all. ever. there is nothing you can do about it.
it kills me. i cant pretend i have problems unlike others. everyone has the same problems!!
EVERYONE IS MISSING SOMETHING. i/you/everyone needs to get the fuck over it..
but i hate knowing that i am nothing new..
im nothing different. im nothing original. and nothing i do will ever matter.
you hear a lot of crap as a child... people saying that "there is no one else in the world like you.. you are SPECIAL".. there is no such thing. special only means different. and different is also a lie. no matter what you do, there will be someone, or a group of people just like you. past. present. or future.
All different is, is a comparison to your immediate surroundings. maybe your different in your one class. or that one workplace. or that one country. but somewhere else you are completely normal.
do you really think your different? do you really think that no one else in america has problems with their parents? that no one in europe has your same morals? that no one in your state has your sense of humor? do you really think that you are original?
tell me a sentence that has never before been spoken.
a thought that has never occured.
and even if you found the one glimmer that hasn't already been, it will eventually.
knowing we are all the same just makes me realize how pointless we all are..
people have the exact same ideas.
the guy who created the telephone, or the television, or the car... they didn't matter.
go back in time and knock them off. if they had never made that invention, do you really think that no one else would have thought of the same or a very similar idea?
maybe not in the same year. maybe not the same century. but you know that eventually all would be created by someone else. we as humans share the same brain structure. there are only so many possibilities..
its like some guy giving you 1000 legos. you could create SO MANY different shapes and creations with all of them. but there is still a limit to what you could do. even if there are 1,000,000,000 possibilities, its still a limiit.
People dont seem to understand this. there are the kids at school who consider themselves original..
YAY! you just bought a really cool bright blue and tshirt! its so colorful. and you are so original! JUST LIkE THE OTHER 10000 KIDS IN YOUR STATE ALONE THAT BOUGHT THE SAME SHIRT.
do you think your the only one who wears missmatched socks? the only one who wears there hat like that?? there are 360 degrees in the awkwardly shaped circle you call your head. do you really think that between now and the last 2000 years there is an angle yet to be hit?
There is nothing i can do. no moves to make me special. no skill to learn to make me interesting. no problem i can have that seems so important.
as much as i hate to admit it to myself.. no matter how much i hate what society is,
i am just like everyone else..
even if i created some new car motor. lord knows someone else would come up with it sooner or later...
dying your hair blue... getting a dragon tatoo, there is nothing you can do..
its all so pointless.
i need answers...
--- Sorry. some of this is anger at people for trying so hard to be original by copying everyone else.. forgive me.
Guys are screwed. we have to be handsome at birth. or else we are just unnatrractive.
Girls, however, have makeup, a billion different kinds of clothing, and different ways to make up for being unnattractive.
if a guy has blemishes, hes fucked.
if a girl has blemishes, she can cover it up with makeup.
if a guy has gay hair. (like its curly or ugly colored) hes totally fucked.
if a girl has gay hair, she can straighten it, dye it, and put it up in a billion different hairstyles.
if a guy has weird proportions, hes fucked.
if a girl has weird proportions, there are so many different freaking styles that she could wear to mask her deformities. ( even being fat; some clothes can be slimming! )
if a guy has an ugly face, hes totally screwed. even if he has a totally hot body, it wont even compensate for it. (maybe a LITTLE, but not much.)
if a girl has an ugly face, (and she cant hide that with all the make up.) she has Boobs, or a butt to make up for it.
no matter WHAT girls do. they are all pretty. but guys, just have to hope that they're not that that hideous. we dont have makeup, and we dont have high heels, or a billion different styles to wear. ( some may argue that we do, but we dont really have as many different styles. not even CLOSE.) (and those guys that do are 3 years away from a sex change.)
it just doesnt seem fair. girls jugde a LOT by looks. even the ones that say that they are all about personality, even if youve got a great personality, theres no will to talk to you if your not attractive. lets face the fact that that is what keeps the conversations going. if the person isn't attractive, (or the subject isn't REALLY INTERESTING) theres no real will, or want, to continue talking. the girl will just slowly blow you off, if not quickly.
but girls are pretty no matter what... i know very few girls that i dont think are pretty, at least to some extent. and the ones the aren't, are only ugly because i hate them. (and the hatred makes them seem ugly in my eyes. hopefully that makes sense.)
Its really hard for a guy to actually work hard for his looks without looking gay, or just feeling gay, or just ending up looking worse.
if you style your hair in the moring for more than 15 minutes in the morning, and are very careful about picking out clothes, and are making yourself SO DAMN PRETTY, you cant tell me that you dont care about what the guy looks like! if you care about your own petty looks so much, theres no way that you can say all your looking for is personality.
even if girls dont realize it, they have these hidden standards in the back of their heads that a guy must fufill. which are unknowingly high.
When a girl starts describing a guy that she likes, the main words that she uses are: cute, hot, and sweet. i love how 2 of the 3 mainly are used in reference to appereance, and how the complements towards personality always come last, and are almost never the first things said.
i dont care what a girl says. girls aren't just looking for personality. you also need to have a 27 pack, sweet hair and a car with a million cupholders that YOULL NEVER USE.
Im not saying that guys aren't the same in terms of high standards, but with all those ways to improve yourself, ares seem to be more easily met...
I hate to complain to all of you about the worlds troubles. and i promise to eventually even the score, and go against the problems with guys too. ( i admit that some guys have faults. )
not me of course. =P
(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeahright..)
i write these on the spot, so sorry for typos and anything i restated..
if you were looking for funny, try the Everything Else Page.
-Mephidos
Im not taking a side.
but there are just some things that bother me about the issue.
i HATE how everyone argues about whether or not the baby is alive when you kill it or not.
ITS ALIVE. Godly veiw: "god has a plan for all, as soon as concieved in the womb"
and honestly, even when only a cell big, the cell is alive. blood and nutrients vital to survival start going in that direction. its definitely alive.
and i HATE how people who are for abortion keep bringing up the whole "Raped" Issue.
"well if theres no abortion, what if your RAPED??"
SO WHAT???? NO ONE CARES!!! just because the baby was concieved that way does NOT make it any less human. does not make the baby a bad person., killing a baby concieved through rape is NOT any different than killing one that was your own and also made by someone you love.
if we make abortion illegal, it will still be preformed illegally. we all know it.
its like if we would sudden ban all guns.
you would only be taking the guns away from good people. bad people aren't gunna give em up.
if you got yourself pregnant, DEAL WITH IT. its your fault.
if you got raped, then it just sucks to be you. just dont go killing the baby expecting the revenge on the guy to make you feel better.
im really just kinda writing this out of rage and caffine influenced anger, also lack of sleep and a cheerio in my eye.. ill proofread and maybe add more tomorrow...
im kinda worried that ill publish this and realize that all i wrote was aldighaglfugefuhybgfigafdgh and i only thought it was words...
that would be pretty cool..
night.
-Meph.
What makes us Male or Female?
i know what does PHYSICALLY.
but what about MENTALLY?
if your a guy, do you grow up being a guy? a girl a girl?
or is it just how we're raised?
When your born, depending on what sex you are, your parents will buy you the appropriate toys and clothes, to go along with it.
if your a boy, you get trucks, cares, and action figures. and often things the color blue. (which is why its a lot of peoples favorite color)
and if your a girl, you get dolls, dresses, fake beads, and other things for dressing up.
when we get these things while we are young, do our interests just kinda form around them?
i think that maybe when were born, we dont really have instincts telling us what to like, or do.
what your exposed too as you age, is what you like, or learn to like..
when mommy or daddy start taking you to school, or the mall, where your exposed to other people, you slowly learn what you SHOULD be. and to you, thats what you try to be subconciously.
Ive noticed that girls with a lot of brothers turn out to be more of tomboys. (im assuming that its because of the exposure to the boys interests?)
and the guys that have an older sister, or multiple sisters, seem to have more sensitive personalities.
often, you try to resemble an older sibling, the one above you; your looking to them as a role model.
does any of that make sense? i was thinking about that today.... hopefully its not crap.
just think about it.
-Mephidos
I dont feel like people are realistic about relationships.
i mean, every relationship seems so fragile..
You could be smothering your significant other with love and affection one moment, and all of a sudden your lover will do something thats absolutely infuriating and you will just sudden veiw the person as a total enemy.
some of this is human nature and some is just you being an asshole.
Part of it IS hormones and big egos, but i think most of it is this shitty unrealistic veiw of love we got from old disney movies and black and white films.
This fake model or idea of love that we have in our heads create conflict... and always leave us dissapointed. when your partner does something slightly wrong... it can crush or fracture the image in your head that you believe love should be. thus leaving you very upset, even when the problem wasn't that big to begin with.
i mean ive been dating a girl for a month and shes already pissed at me everyother day for stupid little things like "forgetting our one month anniversary" and "making out with the waitress at olive garden". though those things are kinda big when i think about it, we tend to be much more upset at our lover for things than we would if it were just friends or family.
the fact is we hold the person at a different standard. we only relate to our partner through a thin veil of fantasy.
when we move our fabricated look at love to the real thing, we are BOUND to be dissapointed.
People are dissapointing.
At some points they are weak, selfish, and distant, but they could also be selfless, loving, and strong. this is just human nature.
I hate all you people that are letting your fantasies run your life. your the people who end up unhappy. you get into relationships for looks, and sexual attraction.
when your dating a person because of looks or sexual attraction, your treating that person as an object.
and even if we truely think we like a person at first, the better/more we know them, our superficial look on them is shattered, and we are then just flooded with judgement about the person.
I mostly blame hollywood for giving everyone the idea of happy endings and endless romantic love... i mean disney and fairy tales have imbedded these ideals into your head... and overtime they just grew and grew...
but you people need to understand something.
1. Happily ever after doesn't happen. no matter how strong a relationship is, its going to have twists and turns.
2. there is no prince charming.
FACT the hottest guys are the biggest dicks.
FACT the girls with the biggest boobs are the biggest whores
There are very few people who are honestly attractive and TRUELY a good person. we need to face that fact.
And honestly, ive found that usually, the perfect guy (or girl) is usually right in front of you, and you just dont see it.
you all need to get your heads out of your asses and just look around.
Nothing is more annoying than someone complaining that they cant find anyone good out there...
maybe if you weren't such a dick, then maybe you'd notice the perfect person is right next to you.
The more i think about it... the more i hate people. your all so stupid. everyones priorities are completlely wrong. am i the only one who sees these things?
-Mephidos
Ps. this is a problem that has been bugging me for a while... and i was having trouble wording it. ive looked at many many websites for ideas on how to word it, though i haven't used any exact quotes. so kudos to those sites. if your heart desires to see said sites, go to the contact us page and ill send you some. and sorry for some fowl language... this is a big issue. you all need to grow up. (and that coming from me is BIG.)
I HATE how selfish people are.
subconciously, we all put ourselves first.
like personally, if it was on a larger scale, like life or death, i would give my life to save someone elses. ( depending )
but the fact is for all smaller issues, we put ourselves first.
when you are in line for a slice of pizza, (lunch) and the guy in front of you, does he
A. take the smaller piece to be kind to your needs.
B. take the larger piece for self satisfaction.
DUH. they pick B.
i understand that this is natural human behavior. BUT STILL
People bug me.
what ever happened to kindness and sharing?
i mean people still share... SOMETIMES and its only when its the persons friend.
whens the last time you shared with someone you hated?
i know it sounds weird for me telling you to be nice, but you people are dicks.
get over it.
i dont care if the guy is black.
or he's a total asshole
or if he slaughtered your family
BE NICE
you insensitve fucks.
-Mephidos